Dr. Barbara Jaffe – WHEN WILL I BE GOOD ENOUGH?
Hear author of “When Will I Be Good Enough?” Dr. Barbara Jaffe talk about the challenges and possibilities of learning self-acceptance after not feeling good enough as a child growing up as a “replacement child” or in any family where their sense of worth as an individual was compromised.
About Barbara Jaffe, Ed.D.
Barbara Jaffe completed her B.A. in Linguistics, her M.A. in Applied Linguistics, and her doctorate in Education, all from the University of California, Los Angeles (UCLA). Dr. Jaffe is a Tenured Professor of English in California. Her focus is helping students find their own, unique writers’ voices and has helped other instructors in their teaching of writing through her national workshops. Barbara received awards for Outstanding Woman of the Year and Distinguished Teacher of the Year at her college. Her doctoral research focused on teacher training for basic writing instructors that combined writing pedagogy with personal success strategies.
Barbara’s Reflections About Living
Reading and writing has always been Barbara’s passions, with a focus on non-fiction and meaningful reflections of life and all its beauty as well as its challenges. Barbara feels to live is to observe and to observe most deeply is to write. Only in the depth of our reflections can we truly learn and grow through any of our limitations. A fourth generation San Franciscan native, she has spent her adult life living in Los Angeles with her husband, three sons, two grandchildren, and her very sweet poodle/Bichon Emma.
When Will I Be Good Enough? A Replacement Child’s Journey to Healing reflects Barbara’s unique position in life, having been born into a family soon after her brother Jeffrey, the second child, died. Her role as the replacement child, reinforced by her mother, who was never able to come to terms with her two-year old’s sudden death, greatly affected all areas of her life.
However, Barbara’s story is not about blame but observation—to focus on elements of her self-esteem, self-worth, and self-confidence, which were compromised. Through her journey of honest reflection and observation, she describes how she learned to put herself back together, in a sense, to live a beautifully full and honorable life.
While When Will I Be Good Enough? was written by a replacement child, it will help to heal someone whose life has been affected by an alcoholic, a depressed parent, a detached parent, or an abusive parent. Barbara believes that it is possible to recover from the disappointment and challenges acquired in being raised by such parents has opened up her heart about her own life so that others can learn to flourish as well.
Barbara’s Message To You About Self-Acceptance
I hope that some of these lessons that have given me such clarity in my own life can benefit you as well. While we are all different, we seek our own versions of tranquility. In doing so, we can appreciate our unique journeys, which for me has become more magnificent than the destination. I value and accept that I could not have arrived with such splendor without my replacement-child legacy. We all come into this life with our strengths and challenges and these very elements create our ultimate, unique magnificence when we are brave enough to reflect on them.
While this is my story, my journey, my awakenings, it can be anyone’s—anyone who, with conviction, commits to reflection, introspection, and acknowledgement of one’s shadow-life. It is my shadow-life, perhaps born from the seeds of the replacement child, yet I have learned to respectfully accept and nurture myself so that I might heal and continue to grow in unbelievably magnificent ways that I had not known possible. I underscore the importance of the journey no matter where it begins or where it leads. To acknowledge my shadow life, embrace it and walk with it through the rest of my days is to give myself the respect, gratitude, and care that I deserve.
If you would like to read more about Barbara Jaffe:
Books Barbara Jaffe Recommends
Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl
Many Lives, Many Masters by Brian Weiss
On Death and Dying by Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Siddhartha by Hermann Hesse
The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz
When Breath Becomes Air by Paul Kalanithi
Devotion: A Memoir by Dani Shapiro
The Replacement Child by Judy L. Mandel
Replacement Children: The Unconscious Script by Rita Battat Silverman & Abigail Brenner, MD.
Codependent No More by Melody Beattie
The Artist’s Way by Julia Cameron
Lovingkindness by Anne Roiphe
Writing is My Drink: A Writer’s Story of Finding Her Voice (and A Guide to How You Can Too) by Theo Pauline Nestor
Recent & Upcoming Shows:
More Exciting Guests To Look Forward To…
Ivy Tobin – THE SOCIETY FOR RECOVERING DOORMATS
Robyn McCord O’Brien – “REAL FOOD”
Drs. Karin & Rick Dina – RAW FOOD NUTRITION
Melvin Bray – STORYING INCLUSIVITY FOR KIDS
Allison Carmen – THE GIFT OF MAYBE
Nadine Grzeskowiak – GLUTEN & HEALTH UPDATE
PODCASTS of Past Shows
1 / 1RETHINKING GLUTEN & THE GUT with Dr. Alessio Fasano, World-Renowned Celiac & Non-Celiac ResearchRETHINKING MAST CELL ACTIVATION SYNDROME with Dr. Jill Carnahan MD on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING CANCER with Functional Medicine Dr. Jill Carnahan on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowMONICA GARTNER SHARES HER INSPIRING STORY of Living with Osteogenesis Imperfecta with Dr. TheresaRETHINKING MINDFUL EATING with Karen Mayo & Haely Lindau on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING THE DIDGERIDOO: SLEEP APNEA, SOUND HEALING & THE DIDGERETHINKING SUSTAINABLE LIVING: Dr. David Boyd 'The Optimistic Environmentalist'RETHINKING EDUCATION: 'Teaching Kids with Mindfulness in Mind' & Teen HumanitarianRETHINKING TRAGEDY: "Crushed Alive: From Tragedy to Triumph"RETHINKING JOY & KINDNESS Thru Art & Urban Gardening on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING TOXIC MOLD EXPOSURE with Dr Jill Carnahan on the Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING 'NATURAL DETOXIFICATION' with Dr. Jessica RenferRETHINKING SALT - Is Salt Good For You? Dr. Saul Pilar MD Shares The Truth about Salt & HealthRETHINKING SPINAL CORD INJURY: Victim to Survivor to Thriver with Logan Seelye & Melody OwenRETHINKING THE POWER OF ART: Caprice Hogg (& Melody Owen: On Embracing Life)RETHINKING LIFE with Deanna Won on The Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING WHEAT with Cyndi O'Meara on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio Show#RETHINKING #VACATIONING with Marco Aguilar (& Special Guest Appearance by Kim Vopni)RETHINKING ANOREXIA & RUNNING With Christine BlanchetteRETHINKING CANCER: Fighting Cancer With Food | Nutritionist Haely Lindau on Dr Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING CELIAC DISEASE with Jules Shepard on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING FOOD LABELING with Caroline Moassessi on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING FOOD SECURITY & FOOD SAFETY with Jane GrueberRETHINKING EXERCISE, AGING, MOOD & BRAIN HEALTH with Kate Maliha on the Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING AUTISM: A Mother-Daughter Love StoryRETHINKING SELF-ESTEEM, DISORDERED EATING & THE REPLACEMENT CHILD with Dr. Barbara JaffeRETHINKING SLOW FOOD & PLEASURE with Raw Food Chef James SantRETHINKING HAZING, SEXUAL ASSAULTS & SUBSTANCE ABUSE: Michael Ayalon on Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING PARENTING with Leeza Steindorf on The Dr. Theresa NIcassio ShowRETHINKING FOOD & FERTILITY with Dr. Lorne Brown of Acubalance on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING PERFORMANCE with The Power of Food Author Adam Hart on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING HUMAN RIGHTS with LGBTQI Advocate Michelle Emson on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING LIFELONG IINTIMACY with OB/Gyn Barb Depree MD on The Dr. Theresa NIcassio ShowRETHINKING THE MEDITERRANEAN DIET - with Dietitian Layne Lieberman on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING SITTING DISEASE on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Show with Shirley Plant & Kim VopniRETHINKING COMPASSION & ANTI BULLYING on The Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING DEATH & DYING with Yvonne Heath on The Dr Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING MOMENTS & MINDFUL LIVING with Marianne Pestana on The Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING 'HONEST MEDICINE' with Julia Schopick on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING OBSTACLES - Stories of Courage on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING GOODNESS & INTENTIONAL LIVING with Kristin Andress on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING PAIN AS TEACHER with Dr Paul Epstein on the Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio ShowRETHINKING YOUR OWN BRAND OF SEXY with Dr. Susan Edelman on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING CHEMICAL TOXICITY with Alan Bell on The Dr. Theresa Nicassio ShowRETHINKING GOING TO COLLEGE WITH FOOD ALLERGIES with the Gratefulfoodie Caroline MoassessiRETHINKING CANDIDA with Ricki Heller on The Dr Theresa Nicassio Radio Show1 / 1
January 16, 2017: Kate Maliha – EXERCISE FOR HEALTHY AGING, MOOD & BRAIN HEALTH & Judy Russell – How Are The Big Toe & Kidney Connected? (LISTEN NOW)
January 23, 2017: Dr. Jill Carnahan – DOCTOR SURVIVOR: LESSONS OVERCOMING CANCER (LISTEN NOW)
February 27, 2017: Dr. Alessio Fasano – CELIAC DISEASE, GLUTEN & THE GUT (LISTEN NOW)
April 3, 2017: Michael Ayalon – POSITIVE CHANGE ON COLLEGE CAMPUSES (LISTEN NOW)
September 25, 2017: Dr. Paul Epstein – ILLNESS AS OPPORTUNITY, PAIN AS TEACHER (LISTEN NOW)
About Dr. Theresa
A Registered Psychologist in Vancouver, Canada, Dr. Theresa Nicassio is an integrative health and wellness educator who is fiercely committed to advocating for empowerment, inclusivity, and kindness in all its forms.
Passionate about making the world a better place, Theresa contributes to social, emotional, and environmental transformation using her professional knowledge and personal experiences for the betterment of society and the planet.
“If self-reliance and radical kindness are subversive… count me in!”
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